How much is too much Morphine?


So I hear I have a little competition when it comes to blogging and that Johanna was able to add a little needed sunshine.  Ah… I taught her well, huh.  🙂  Just kidding.

The last two days have been better for Bernadette when it comes to pain but we’re learning the hard way how much Morphine is too much for her little system.  For example:  Yesterday afternoon she asked to watch a movie to help her fall asleep.  That seems to be her favorite way to fall asleep these days so I put the movie on.  A few minutes later she started complaining that she couldn’t keep her eyes open.  I told her that if she fell asleep it was okay because when she woke up we’d rewind the movie to where she left off.  She said that was okay.  I went upstairs for just a minute and when I returned I found her literally holding her eyes open with her fingers.  I again encouraged her to close her eyes and sleep if she was tired, so she did.  A few minutes later she starts crying.  When I asked her what was wrong she replied, “It’s really hard to watch a movie with my eyes closed!”  Ok.  Deep breaths, deep breaths.  Back to square one.  “Bernadette, feel free to open your eyes to watch the movie.  IF you fall asleep we can rewind the movie for you.  Ok?”  “I won’t fall asleep,” she insisted.  And she was right, she didn’t fall asleep again for over four hours.  So much for, “Can I watch a movie to help me fall asleep?”  esh

Today even though it was obvious that she was still under the effects of the Morphine, she had a great time with her friend, Stephanie.  All morning she made plans as to what they’d do together.  She opened two new Barbies from her Wish and played with them for a little while.  She even walked across the room to get the scissors to open the boxes!  When Stephanie finally arrived Bernadette managed everything she’d planned.  She showed her all her new Barbies, showed her the Jumpstart game on her iPad, and then they watched a Barbie movie which Stephanie got to pick.  The only thing they didn’t do was have a snack during the movie.   By the time Stephanie went home Bernadette was exhausted and slept most of the time from 4:00pm until 11:00pm, only waking up for short periods.   Stephanie was the perfect little playmate, she patiently watched and listened and wasn’t demanding in any way.  It was such a boost for Bernadette.  Thank you, Stephanie!!!!!  I didn’t know angels came in such small sizes.

The other thing we discovered about Morphine is it makes Bernadette extremely chatty but not necessarily clear or coherent.  I swear the last two days from the minute I came downstairs she didn’t stop talking except when she was eating, drinking, or dozing.  We knew exactly when she fell asleep because she’d go silent for a change.  Even during the movie or her iPad games she talked the entire time.  And I had to understand every word or I’d be agreeing to the wrong thing or not doing what she asked and then she’d burst into tears.  Problem was I’d have to ask two or three times for her to repeat herself which made her frustrated.  Oh the joys of Morphine!   But we will eventually get the correct dose and then I suspect she’ll be acting a lot more like her old self again.   Can’t wait.

Tonight Sarah is here to sit with Bernadette while the rest of us try to get some sleep.  She’s the nurse who Bernadette has gotten to know over the last two months.  Hopefully they have a good time together.  One of the effects Marc and I are hoping for with night nursing is that she’ll withdraw into her shell and decide sleeping is preferable to interacting but she knows Sarah so she’ll probably be a little more comfortable with her than the other nurses who will start coming in February.  Guess we’ll see.

Oh I also posted a picture of Bernadette holding a Barbie with all her Barbie land in the school room behind her.  She’s actually posing but doesn’t want to look into the camera.  I made the mistake of asking her if she might smile and she burst into tears.  “I was smiling!”   So just so you know, she’s smiling – on the INSIDE I guess.  Just forgot to inform the outside of her face.



By Virginia Pukas

Well, good morning Dansereau family. Your lives seem filled with dilemmas. What a wonderful Barbie wonderland. I am amazed Bernadette still had some Barbies left to unwrap. What a special time it was for her and Stephanie. Here is your joke for the day and it is a “soft” one. What is the longest word in the world? Smiles…….. because there is a mile between the first and last letters. Some days it must appear to be a mile between smiles for you. Sending you all a prayer hug. With love, Virginia.

By Bernadette Jordan

What a sweet, lovely photo. I hope you are right about a night nurse bringing a little formality to this heart breaking situation and perhaps Bernadette will get the rest she so obviously needs, as well as the rest of you grabbing a few consecutive hours. As always we pray and then we pray some more.

By Susan D.

Isn’t friendship wonderful!? Keep up your wonderful caring ways, Patti. I can only imagine how much your patience is tried, when you are in such a state of fatigue and intense emotional strain. We all pray for Bernadette and for you and the family who are caring for her.

By candice anhel
She is way too cute!

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